here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
