in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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