Just cropdusted the office
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
