I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
