Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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