What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
