You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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