We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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