Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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