This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
