I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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