Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize