I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I smell stomach acid.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
