Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
