I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
