How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
