I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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