I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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