Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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