this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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