I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
operation have a gay friend backfired
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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