5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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