I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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