Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
