Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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