Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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