That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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