Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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