I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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