Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
