have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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