you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
