when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
