Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Randomize