we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
