Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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