I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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