you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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