I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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