Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
