Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
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Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
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You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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