if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
