Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
