What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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