I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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