he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
