2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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