Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
