erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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