I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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