YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
operation have a gay friend backfired
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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