Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
