It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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