I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
