on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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