Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
