Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
how does that bad decision feel?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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